There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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