girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
