That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize