He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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