I'm drive I can fine osifer
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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