You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize