You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
