Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
