Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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