Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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