i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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