giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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