so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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