They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
