This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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