Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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