the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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