Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu

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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

Fav 140 1223 6271
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(540): View more from Virginia

The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace

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(914): View more from New York

woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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(254): View more from Texas

I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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(708): View more from Illinois

He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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(469): View more from Texas

I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry

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(727): View more from Florida

I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....

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