Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
