She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
