According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
