Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize