I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
