forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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