hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
