dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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