Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
