at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
