I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
