he shaved USA in his pubs
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
