I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
