Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
