no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
