literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
