The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
