I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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