New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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