wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
