just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
