whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
