this beer tastes like vomit already
im having a threesome with these popsicles
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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