oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
