Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize