the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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