I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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