he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
