im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
