doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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