Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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