"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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