I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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