I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize