he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
