I love black thongs
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize