This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
