dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
