There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
