You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
