we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hippo gnu deer
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize