Pappa wants mamma naked
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
