I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
