No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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