we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
