youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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