That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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