I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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