is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
