Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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