see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
50% drunk capacity currently
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
