Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
