I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My bed smells like the plague
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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