whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
