Soap is not a condiment
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
