covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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