Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
